


not good

by buckybear (eds_spagheds)



Series: one-shots that make endgame hurt more [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sad Ending, Self-Sacrifice, Sorry Not Sorry, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, it's sad as f u c k, mostly - Freeform, steve's ending fixed, the vormir scene but instead of clint and natasha it's steve and bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 02:12:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18769072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eds_spagheds/pseuds/buckybear
Summary: endgame spoilers!!!first chapter is that clint and natasha scene but instead it's steve and buckysecond chapter is a fix-it of steve’s ending:)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the title is the name of the song that plays during the cliff scene in the movie so if y'all want to make yourself cry more by listening to it, there you go
> 
> tw:  
> gunshot wounds  
> character death by jumping off a cliff
> 
> (also I don't beta these so if there are any significant mistakes, feel free to let me know)

“I bet one a’ the others had to do all this cardio.”

Bucky grunted, catching his breath as he leaned against the side of the mountain they were currently climbing up. Steve Rogers turned around, a glint in his eyes that was reserved only for his best friend.

“And don’t even think about tellin’ me it’s not that bad. If this was thirty-five, you’d’ve been dead as dirt ten minutes in.”

So Steve rolled his eyes and laughed a little. He hiked back down a few paces to where Bucky was waiting, slinging the other man’s arm around his shoulders. Bucky heaved a small sigh of relief, an unspoken ‘thank you’ to the other. Not that either of them would admit it, but they both felt like they had all those years ago when Steve brought Bucky home arm-in-arm from that first HYDRA camp.

The memory brought a small smile to both of their faces as they neared the top of the mountain. It was a small moment of lightheartedness in the waking nightmare that had been the last five years. Moments like that were scarce. Still, the universe wasn’t kind enough to let them have even a few minutes of peace, even when they were trying to save the world one last time.

“Steven,” a booming voice echoed through the cavernous mountaintop making both men jump to their defensive positions. “Son of Sarah.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky could see Steve noticeably stiffen at the mention of his late mother, but he nudged him with his elbow, making sure Steve didn’t let his guard down.

“And James.” Steve could hear Bucky audibly exhale at the use of a name no one had called him in decades. “Son of Winifred.”

“Who are you?” Steve questioned, his shield still placed firmly in front of the duo. “How do you know our names?”

The dark hooded figure drifted slightly closer, just enough so they could see the outline of his billowing cape and nothing more.

“Steven, it is my duty to know the names of all those who seek the stones,” the voice bellowed, sending a chill down Steve’s spine. Something was very, very wrong. “But I think you’ll soon understand, I already knew everything about you that I could ever need to know.”

“Stevie,” Bucky spoke quietly from beside him. “Don’t listen to him ,we’re just gonna’ get past him and get the stone back home. Don’t let him in your head.”

“If only you were as pleased to see me,” the figure mused, stepping closer as his hands rose to remove his hood. “As I am to see you.”

And they froze.

No amount of training could have possibly helped them figure out what was happening. Never in their decades of experience could they have guessed they’d be seeing a familiar old face so far in the future.

“Schmidt,” Steve spat, the words like venom on his lips. It was as if the snow-covered world around the trio was suddenly engulfed in flames all over again. “I thought we got rid of you a century ago.”

“My living form, sure,” he explained, drifting down towards the two men. “But my soul lives on as a gatekeeper. I have the two of you to thank for that.”

“How is that possible?” Bucky couldn’t help blurting out.

Schmidt turned, gesturing for the two to follow him and, hesitating for a moment, they walked along the cavernous rock sculptures.

“Every few hundred years, the gatekeeper must be replaced,: Schmidt explained, the red glow of his now-exposed face standing out against the snow. “The stone chooses only those who have recognized a true act of selfless sacrifice. I’m sure the event I am referring to is not lost on you both. My opinion aside, the stones deemed my soul a trustworthy judge of character.”

Steve couldn’t stop his head from spinning. None of it seemed real, there was _no way_. He couldn’t begin to believe that the man that almost killed them both back in 1945 was now the deciding factor of whether or not they were able to save the universe? The odds were virtually nonexistent. But the fact that the whole reason he was the one chosen to judge them was all because Bucky sacrificed his chance to escape a flaming warehouse to stay with Steve…impossible. Truly impossible.

“Any ordinary man would’ve died that night. Still, in any turn of events, the stones recognize any sacrifice that would otherwise be an exchange of one life for another, a sacrifice of worth.”

Bucky seemed to be understanding what they were up against far better than Steve who, frankly, was deep in denial.

“What are you saying?” Steve demanded, his anger peaking as Bucky grabbed the back of his uniform, holding him back from fighting. “Just tell us what we have to do to get the stone!”

“Steve,” Bucky spoke softly, a dark realization in his eyes that Steve still couldn’t grasp. “Stevie, just think about it, please.”

Steve bit his lip, relaxing his tensed muscles as he let Bucky drag him back together.

“The soul stone,” Schmidt explained, leading them onto an opening, a large rock face behind them and an opening in front. If it wasn’t absolutely terrifying, the view from the cliff would’ve been beautiful. “Demands a sacrifice equal to that of it’s worth. In order to obtain it-“

“You have to lose what makes it worth it,” Bucky finished for him, a fear behind his words as he avoided Steve’s eyes.

“Precisely. In order to receive this gift from the universe, you must lose that which you love.” The words cut like a knife between the two men. Neither could meet the other’s eyes, but they both knew exactly why. And Bucky was determined to beat him to it.

Steve had always been the self-sacrificing one anyway.

“The stone will be yours once the exchange has been made,” Schmidt finished, his ghostly form disappearing amongst the rocks. Steve turned to Bucky with a determination in his eyes.

“We know how to do this, right?” He sounded like he had little to no confidence, but that seemingly wasn’t stopping him. Bucky was honestly impressed that he hadn’t just sprinted straight for the cliff right off the bat. “We know what we have to do?”

Bucky nodded, grabbing onto Steve’s wrist and making sure he couldn’t change his mind and make a run for it. His hands were shaking and as soon as they touched Steve, the other could tell.

“Buck,” Steve spoke gently tension in his shoulders releasing as he spoke.

“Stevie,” Bucky fired back, a resignation under his tone. Steve slotted their fingers together, pulling their bodies closer. “I have a feeling we mean different people.”

Steve let out a small laugh, ducking his head slightly, but not hiding the fact that, when he lifted his head back up, there were tears brimming in his eyes. He leaned his forehead against Bucky’s, holding onto him incredibly tightly.

They could feel each other’s breath against their lips and the reluctance seemed to radiate off of both of them, but. with the confidence of some desperate force, Bucky tilted his head up just a little further and pressed their lips together. Steve met his with a swift motion and soon enough Bucky could feel hot tears streaming down Steve’s face.

As they separated, Steve was panting. The man who could almost never be breathless anymore. It almost made Bucky smile.

“Please let me do this,” he whispered, their foreheads still pressed together. “Please, Buck. I can’t lose you again.”

Bucky tightened his grip on Steve’s hands, suddenly terrified that if he let go for even a second, he’d lose the love of his life.

“And you think you deserve to die for this?” He retorted incredulously. “Steve, all you’ve ever done for your whole life is save me, time and time again.” He kissed him again quickly, hoping it would be enough to disorient Steve, even for just a moment. “Please, just let me be the one to save you this time.”

And he ran.

He ripped himself from Steve’s arms, knowing he’d never be able to pull himself away if he thought about leaving him for more than a second. He kicked Steve’s legs out from under him in a swift motion and took off for the edge of the cliff.

His gun was abandoned on the ground where they had been standing and initially, Steve’s shield had been as well, but before he knew it, a force slammed into his arm and knocked him over on his side. This wasn’t going to be easy.

Steve appeared above him, tears still in his eyes as he kicked up his shield, catching it and tossing it over the edge. Neither could hear the sound of it hitting the ground below.

“Buck, I was never meant to live this long,” he pleaded, positioning his foot on the other’s metal arm and holding it in place. “You and I both know who it’s gotta’ be.”

Steve turned on his heel, taking off towards the edge of the cliff with a determination he’d never felt before. A determination reserved solely for protecting those he cared about.

Frankly their exchange was somewhat comedic. Two hundred-year-old men fighting each other for the chance to jump off a cliff. Still, Steve was disappointed to say the least, when he felt a bullet go right through his right shoulder. He dropped to the ground, grabbing his shoulder with frustration more so than actual pain. He looked up just in time to see Bucky take off for the edge, tossing his gun to the ground.

Bullet holes be damned, he picked himself up off the ground, scrambling just barely far enough so he could effectively jump right along side his best friend, not noticing the other’s efforts to keep him safe on the ground.

He could’ve sworn his heart stopped right when he body stopped falling. His waist was yanked back and all he had keeping Bucky from hitting the bottom of that cliff was his bleeding shoulder against Bucky’s metal arm. All he had to do was pull him up. There were plenty of ledges for them to climb up, it would’ve been so easy. Hell, with the amount of desperate adrenaline coursing through his system at that moment, he probably could’ve just thrown Bucky far enough to get him to the top.

“Stevie,” Bucky hissed, looking up at him with an unplaceable expression on his face. “Just back down. Just this once, for me.”

Steve tightened his grip around Bucky’s wrist, tears brimming his eyes that he would swear were just from the bullet wound in his shoulder.

“Please,” he choked out, a few tears finally falling. He hated the the look on Bucky’s face read pure acceptance. Steve wanted to scream. “Please, Buck. Don’t do this. I. couldn’t save you last time, I can’t let you go again.”

“It’s okay,” he spoke softly, no fear anywhere on his face. Steve just needed an excuse. A reason for him to ignore everything the other was saying.

“ _No_ ,” he sobbed, not even trying to hold himself together anymore. The blood from his shoulder was dripping slowly down his arm, sliding through Steve’s fingers. “ _Please, no_.”

“It’s okay,” Bucky repeated, a sad smile on his face. “Let me go.”

Steve couldn’t even answer him, he simply bit his lip and shook his head harshly, still deep in denial.

“I love you, Stevie. Til’ the end of the line, just like we promised,” the other whispered softly, Steve opening his mouth to respond before realizing what was happening.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as Steve watched Bucky swing towards the cliff face, kicking off the wall as hard as he could, effectively breaking free from Steve’s grasp. Their eyes never separated as he fell until right before he hit the bottom, as Steve buried his face in the crook of his elbow.

He curled in on himself, desperately praying that it could all just be a dream. A horrible nightmare. That maybe all of it, _all_ of it, was nothing more than a cruel nightmare. He’d never wanted to go back to being a skinny twenty-year-old kid in Brooklyn waking up every morning right beside his best friend more so than he did right then. He silently begged for none of it to be real. All he wanted was for the past eight years to have all been a figment of his imagination. If he just closed his eyes, maybe he’d back back under the ice as if no one ever found him.

Was that so cruel? To wish he’d never met the people he now considered to be his family? He knew it was, but deep down he knew they’d find a way to understand. Hadn’t he suffered long enough? He felt so empty. So hollow. He couldn’t breathe.

Instead, he tugged at the cable that saved his life. That cursed device. He pulled as hard as he could and yet, it never budged. He just wanted to fall. To fall like he’d watched Bucky do too many times now.

It was his turn. It was his _goddamn turn_.

For nearly their entire lives, it had been both of them or nothing. They were a team. A team that had survived miracle after impossible curse, yet they remained as two. He couldn’t be alone. He’d never been as alone as he had been on the day he woke up in 2011 with the thought that everyone he ever knew or loved was long gone.

It was a miracle and a curse that they’d never truly had to live in a world without the other. Not until that very moment.

His soul was in millions of pieces and no miracle would ever be able to put it back together.

——————

The next thing he knew, he woke up in a puddle. He could feel the stone in the palm of his hand as he sat up, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at it. If he looked then it would all be real. He couldn’t.

So, instead, he curled his knees to his chest, closed his eyes, pressed the stone to his lips, and cried. When he eventually forced himself to press the button on his wrist and go back to the future…he still wasn’t quite sure what he would do if he made it back.

As it turned out, all he could do was drop to his knees and stare blankly ahead.

_“Did we do it?”_

He could sense the others around him, he could hear them talking and cheering at their apparent success, but none of it registered in his brain. At some point he saw a flash of red and slowly focused on Natasha kneeling in front of him, an almost knowing look in her eyes.

“Rogers, you with us?” He blinked slowly a few times, his eyes latching onto Tony behind the redhead. “What’s goin’ on?”

Natasha seemed to search Steve’s body for any sign of an injury, her gaze freezing on the bloody patch on his right shoulder. She stared for a few moments, as if trying to convince herself that this couldn’t be the real problem. She heard Tony tell someone to go bring him a med kit, and then it dawned on her. Realization spreading across her face as her eyes drifted to the vacant launch spot beside Steve’s.

“Barnes,” she spoke, frantically looking around their circle of family and friends. Everyone suddenly stopped talking. Smiles fell and cheers ceased and all eyes gracelessly turned to Steve. “Steve, where’s Barnes?”

He said nothing. He wouldn’t even move.

“Steve?” Her voice was now soft, more gentle than any of them had ever heard. Her eyes looked like they were brimming with tears. “Steve, is he…?”

“Gone,” he whispered, more of a breath than an actual word. “Whatever it takes, right?” He continued, a mix of anger and disbelief in his voice.

As if saying the words out loud made it suddenly real, he let a single tear roll down his cheek. Then another. And another, until it wouldn’t stop and he slowly curled up on the ground, his head delicately resting in Natasha’s lap.

It was almost surreal. Nobody knew what to do or say. Here, in the middle of their quest to save the world, a national icon was having a meltdown. Most of them had only known Bucky Barnes over the short course of their time preparing for their “time heist”, but nobody doubted how much he meant to Steve. That didn’t make it any less surreal to watch _the_ Captain America sobbing on the floor of the lab.

Unbeknownst to the others, Steve pressed the stone, still wrapped tightly between his hands, to his lips. He became acutely aware of everyone around him. He partly didn’t care, but yet he was also listening carefully to every word and movement.

“Now how are we supposed to get the stone?” He heard someone ask as quietly as they probably could. “We can’t let all of this work be for nothing-“

“No,” Steve hissed, slowly picking himself off the floor as everyone watched him in anticipation. His face was still dripping with tears and there was a blend of pain and heartbreak and frustration behind his eyes, but still he turned to Tony and all the anger faded.

“Rogers-“

“Make it worth it,” he spoke gently, his shaking hands gingerly placing the stone into Tony’s hands. “Whatever it takes, it _has_ to be worth it. _”_

Tony couldn’t even bring himself to move once he held the stone in his hands. He just looked at the soul stone then back at Steve and smiled sadly.

“Whatever it takes. I promise.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's the end of the movie, but as it follows the new timeline. it's sad as fuck, just a warning. 
> 
>  
> 
> so..........big yikes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i felt like this needed to be said before i get into the fic lol:
> 
> i'm not really a fan of steve's ending in the movie, but i've seen endgame three times now and i've slightly started to move on and i feel like it's not that bad anymore. mainly, i was mad about the russos basically erasing steve's entire storyline with bucky and essentially making all of the shit that came from civil war for nothing since he abandoned him, but i do also kind of feel like it's ok. 
> 
> basically, it just seems like the ending we all wanted probably just happened off-screen. it's pretty clear before steve goes back in time that bucky knew exactly what he was going to do and it seems like he recognized that going back to peggy was what steve wanted. as much as i love stucky, steve and peggy did have a very cute relationship.
> 
> however. i have always been a huge fan of the agent carter tv show and the scene where she lets go of her love for steve by dumping the last of his blood into the ocean is one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen and erasing peggy's storyline without steve was the biggest loss in my opinion.
> 
> EITHER WAY, I'M GONNA FIX IT AND HOPEFULLY IT'LL BE BETTER THAN THE ENDING. we'll see.

For five years, dust settling across the world gave him sickening nightmares. Still, once the dusted ashes of Thanos and his army began to fall across the Avengers compound, he felt a misplaced sense of relief. Five years of anguish and it was all finally over. 

In the end, he mainly just did it for Sam. For Wanda, and T'challa, and all the ones his family cared for. He'd been lucky from the start. Bucky survived the snap and for the better part of five years, they learned how to cope together. They were luckier than most, to say the least. 

Every time he thought about Barton losing his wife and all three kids, it made him sick to his stomach, but he wasn't going to take any of it for granted. He knew his life was full of luck and coincidences. The two of them somehow surviving the snap together just seemed to be the first bit of  _good_ luck in a lifetime of curses. 

He should've known it wouldn't last. Fate always had been cruel to their tragic pair, after all. 

When Bruce approached the remaining members of the team about returning the stones, Steve didn't hesitate to volunteer. Bruce's expression was akin to that when Clint volunteered to take Scott's place for the time travel test runs and he knew exactly why. He knew exactly why everyone that survived the final battle either stayed behind grasping onto any purpose they had left or got as far away as they could as quickly as possible. 

He spoke to Natasha the night before he would make the jump. His mind was already made up before they talked, but he wanted her blessing before leaving his entire life behind. Thankfully, she didn't seem too surprised when Steve broke the news. And if he cried a little when she told him she'd make sure everyone was taken care of when he was gone, it was completely unrelated. They shared their proper goodbye that night in the private seclusion of the Stark family's living room. He didn't want to think about the fact that they had all just lost Tony a few days prior and there was probably no forgivable way to carry out his plan without hurting at least a dozen or so people, but he couldn't help it as he sat in Tony's house, looking at the pictures of the late avenger on every wall. 

Nat would be lying if she said they didn't  _both_ shed a few tears when he hugged her one last time, kissing the top of her head and thanking her for taking care of their family. 

The morning on the jump, he was grateful to find that no one seemed to know about his plan. Of course, he trusted Natasha implicitly, especially when it came to keeping his secrets, but a part of him still wondered if she might just spill his plan to the others in one last attempt to keep what few pieces of her family were left together.

But instead, it was only Bruce who met him out by the jump platform.

Being in the quantum suit again felt wrong, but he worked through the process until it was time to go. 

Six stones. Eight jumps. 

He'd managed to convince Bruce to let him take a few extra Pym particles should something go wrong. He didn't have the heart to tell him what they were actually for. 

Even as he stood on that platform looking out over the world that he never quite felt he belonged in, he knew he would miss it. He had a family there and, no matter how polarizing it felt at times to be fated to live through more years than any other human in Earth's history, he managed to make a life here.

He made a really beautiful life there in 2023. 

More so than anything, he was proud of what he'd been able to do with it. Sure, he'd made his fair share of mistakes, but he was a good man. Even Thor's hammer believed so. 

Not a perfect soldier, but a good man. And that was all he ever really wanted anyway.

So he was proud as he took the jump. He traveled through time, putting each stone back exactly where it belonged, and as he went from one stone to the next, it began to feel more and more like the end. Even as he returned to Vormir, he felt like it was the end. He saved the worst one for salt, yet even though he knew as soon as Schmidt had the soul stone, he could put his plan into action, it felt like an end rather than a new beginning. 

Nonetheless, he changed the coordinates, closed his eyes, and jumped. 

* * *

 

The train was louder than he remembered. Still, it brought a sad smile to his face to watch himself through the train car window. Himself...and Bucky. 

God, if they hadn't spent their entire lives together, he might not have even recognized him. That was his Bucky. One that was beautiful, and alive, and still had a light of hope behind his eyes. He never realized how much he missed  _his_ Bucky until that moment. 

The Bucky that had yet to be tortured by the worst that the world had to offer. The Bucky that didn't have the only good things in his life ripped away from him for the sole purpose of destroying his livelihood. The Bucky that was drafted into the U.S. Army, but had dreams of becoming an inventor or working for a man like Howard Stark. The Bucky that loved to tinker with the radio in their apartment so they could reach broadcasting stations miles away. The Bucky that he first fell in love with all those years ago. 

He never realized he missed the man he'd loved his whole life until he finally got him back and then every little thing seemed to fit into place. 

Watching him fall from that train for the second time was somehow a million times worse than the first. Knowing what happened to him, knowing how he had been so quick to believe he couldn't have survived...it hurt a place deep in his heart that he was sure he'd never forgive himself for. He remembered himself fighting with tears streaming down his face as he picked up Bucky's discarded shotgun off the ground.

And as soon as Bucky fell, Steve immediately shot his past self in the middle of the forehead. 

He stared at his own dead body on the floor of the rattling train for approximately half a second before grabbing his shield, slinging Bucky's rifle across his body, and swan diving off the train. 

The wind hitting his face was a relief, if he was being honest. For decades he wished he had just jumped right along with Bucky all those years back, but to finally do it...he felt more at peace than he had in years. Even if he managed to not survive the fall, he would be more or less okay with it. Just to have that one moment.

Nevertheless, he tucked his body behind the shield and somewhat-gracefully rolled through the snow on impact. He definitely would be feeling the effects of that fall the next morning, but for a little while at least, he was fine to start hiking backwards through the ravine to find Bucky. Chances are, he would've still lost his arm, or at least most of it, and Steve would have to figure out some sort of tourniquet to stop the bleeding, but he had his shield and Bucky's rifle should they encounter any HYDRA agents and enough determination to just pick up his best friend and carry him back to Brooklyn. 

When he finally found Bucky lying on his side, his left arm horribly mangled underneath him, Steve simply sank to his knees, took Bucky's right hand, and pressed it to his chest. They were alive. They were both 

It took a damn long time, but they made it out. Steve pushed Bucky through the snow on his shield for a large portion of the way to minimize the blood loss from his arm, but they stayed almost silent the entire walk, mostly because of Steve’s paranoia that HYDRA would somehow find them like they found Bucky in his timeline.

But they made it. They made it onto the road, hitchhiked with a pair of women driving back to the city from the mountains who were horrified at the sight of the two hypothermic soldiers and immediately offered to take them back to a hospital.

At the hospital, Steve refused to move from his spot outside the operating room. He knew amputations were nowhere near as safe as they were back in the twenty-first century, but he had to leave that behind. He couldn’t let anything slip that he wasn’t where he was meant to be. For all they knew, he was just another soldier who was worried about his friend. Nothing more.

And just like Steve knew he would, Bucky had to have his arm amputated at the shoulder, but this time it was different.

This time it wasn’t replaced with a horrific metal contraption that scarred and burned him. This time he would just be Bucky. No one could turn him into a weapon. No one could take away their life together. 

He wasn’t going to lose him this time.

* * *

He lived a long life. 

A  _long ass_ life. 

But he wouldn't trade it for anything. 

The shit he went through, the time it took for him to get the life he wanted, the people he loved and lost along the way...it was a long and beautiful life and he knew he was so lucky to have it. 

He savored every minute of his second chance. As soon as Bucky was released from the hospital, they moved back into their apartment in Brooklyn. Steve got a job illustrating Captain America comics under a pseudonym, he simply sent them in the mail and received a paycheck back a few days later with no questions asked. Bucky eventually started teaching science at a local Brooklyn middle school and he slowly started to crawl his way out of the depression that he found himself submerged in after the fall. They could not have been more careful hiding their relationship. Steve refused to take any chances that could get them separated, so they kept it to basement gay clubs and the safety of their apartment. 

After the first few months, Steve told Bucky everything. They had their first fight as a couple and that was all it took for Steve to break down. Steve had never been much of a crier when they were growing up and to say that the sight shocked Bucky a little bit was definitely an understatement. Steve couldn't keep it from him any longer without putting an obvious strain on their relationship and he spent the rest of the night recounting all of the horrific events that led them both to 2023. After over an hour of stories, Bucky couldn't do anything but hug him tighter than he'd originally thought was possible. 

It wasn't exactly easy to hear how he died in another life, but it definitely hurt more to see how badly it broke Steve. 

So they continued to live as safely as they could together with the promise that yes, one day in the future they'd be able to be out and be happy and _get married_. They just had to wait it out. To Steve at least, waiting a few more decades until same-sex couples were more normalized was an easy price to pay to make sure they would never lose each other. 

Steve made sure they were at the Stonewall riots. Hell, he'd absolutely lost himself in the research when he heard about what had happened from some anniversary documentary he'd watched back when all the Avengers lived at Stark Tower. It was his one exception to making sure that nothing dangerous would ever tear them apart. They were safe by the end of it, though, and Steve felt like he'd settled a guilty conscience that day. Exactly one year later, they were in the first ever pride parade. He held Bucky's right hand for fifty-one blocks all the way to Central Park and he'd never been more in love. 

Over the years as they grew and aged together, they made their own little family. For Bucky's forty-fifth birthday, Steve surprised him with a puppy from the shelter a few blocks from their apartment. She was a pitbull-boxer mutt and Steve hadn't seen Bucky smile that wide in years. The three were inseparable, going on walks and jogs every morning and letting her cuddle up on their bed between their intertwined legs. It was the closest they'd ever get to having kids at the time, which always disappointed Steve when he considered what they would've been able to have in the twenty-first century, but they were happy. That was enough. 

They were the oldest married gay couple in the world on July twenty-fourth, 2011. 

Steve was ninety-four to Bucky's ninety-five, but they were still holding on. It was the happiest day of their lives. They'd waited an entire lifetime and more and despite everything, they made it. They got what they'd always wanted. There was hardly a celebration other than their two foster dogs they'd started taking in after their first dog Maggie passed, along with a bunch of supportive strangers and other same-sex couples at the courthouse all waiting to get married. 

After all that, it didn't last long. 

The doctors said it was a stroke, that took his husband from him before they could even have their first anniversary. He could barely count on one hand the number of times he'd nearly lost the love of his life forever, but that time was really it. That February night as he sat by his bedside and held his hand, he kissed his forehead and whispered the one thing that truly gave him his happy ending. 

_"Thank you for always being with me, Buck. Til' the end of the line, just like we promised."_

* * *

Steve was back in 2023 the next morning. 

He was happy with his life and what he'd done and for once, he felt like the universe might've let him have a happy ending just out of a lack of ways to break him even further, but he was going to see the rest of his family again. How could he complain about that?

When he appeared by the lakeside of the Starks' cabin, he slowly seated himself on the bench he found right behind him, resting the case that held his old shield against the bench beside him. He had lived for almost two hundred years, after all. Super soldier or not, his knees weren't what they used to be. 

He was sure Bruce and Sam and the others would probably notice something was up soon enough, but until they saw him, he was content to simply twist the wedding band on his finger and stare out across the lake, silently thanking the man that made his second chance possible. 

"So," he heard Sam speak up from beside him, he smiled coyly, not looking away from the lake. "Did something go wrong, or did something go right?" There was a cheekiness to his tone that told Steve he wasn't upset at all. He felt himself exhale a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. 

He looked up at Sam, smirking ever so slightly.

"You tell me."

Sam seemed to follow the slow movements of Steve's hand to the gold wedding band on his finger and smiled widely. 

"You gonna' tell me about her?" Steve chuckled, momentarily forgetting that Sam had missed the entire post-snap ordeal in which Steve finally revealed his feelings he'd been harboring since the thirties. 

"I think you already know _him_ ," he smiled fondly, letting his gaze be fixated on the ring. 

Sam chuckled, seating himself at the end of the bench. "You sly bastard." Steve rolled his eyes with a grin. "And you let him watch you kiss that Sharon chick and everything?" Steve sighed, leaning back into the creaking wood of the bench, cringing slightly at the memory. 

"He was always better at telling me I was being an idiot when I was smaller," he recalled with a twinge of loving exasperation in his voice. 

"I don't doubt it," Sam supplied. "You were happy, though?'

"Nothing ever made me happier."

"Good," Sam finished, a smile evident in his tone. "You definitely earned it, Rogers. Or should I say Rogers-Barnes? Barnes-Rogers?"

Steve flashed him a look that said he  _definitely_ wasn't going to tell him any more, and Sam shrugged with a smirk. 

"Yes, and you," he paused, unzipping the case that held his shield. "Have definitely earned this."

He handed the shield over to Sam, who took it like Steve had just given him a winning lottery ticket. His eyes went wide and he gingerly traced the star in the middle with his fingers. 

"I don't know, man. I can't take this."

"Well, it ain't like I'm in the business of using it anymore. Go ahead, try it on," Steve urged him.

Sam carefully slipped his arm through the straps, tightening them and holding it out in front of his body. 

"How's it feel?"

"Like it's someone else's," Sam admitted, smiling nervously. 

"Well, it isn't," Steve countered, not giving the other man much room to refute him. 

But Sam seemed to stand a bit taller at that as he brushed his hand across the cold vibranium and nodded. 

So Steve relaxed back against the wooden bench, looked back out across Tony's lake and felt a surge of finality in his chest that told him he truly did it. He was done. No more fights, no more people to save, just peace. Natasha was going to take care of their family. Sam was going to take care of his legacy. He could finally rest happy. 

And that seemed like pretty good luck to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank's for reading y'all! i never thought i'd write this second chapter, but i hope you guys liked it! i cried so much more just writing this than i did at steve's real ending in the movie, so hopefully this didn't ruin anything lol
> 
> as always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and my requests are always open:)
> 
> xx  
> elle

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! I haven't written any marvel stuff in a few months because I didn't want to get my hopes up for endgame, but yet here I am. this scene literally crushed me in the movie (I just love clint and natasha so much and i'm still salty about clintasha being canceled in aou) but it was so beautiful and I can't even begin to explain how much it made me w e e p both times that I've seen it. 
> 
> anyway, I have another endgame follow-up fic coming soon, but requests are always welcome! also, any kudos or comments are greatly welcomed!
> 
> xx  
> elle


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